I haven't been able to write about what has been going on my life for quite some time. Call it blog-block (it is doubtful that I am the first person to come up with that term).
I have, however, just recently spent quite a bit of time compiling a play list of songs of strength and support for a dear friend of mine. I think perhaps, we can all probably benefit from this list list I thought I might share.
My top 10 songs (ok 15 if you include the Official Country Bonus tracks)in the HIZUK (Hebrew for strength) Department!
I am not providing link because I don't know the legalities here.
I must emphasize I do not endorse any foul language herein nor do I condone or recommend that you watch any inappropriate videos of these songs and PLEASE BE extra vigilant disregard ALL non pertinent lyrics!
I do recommend the the choruses!
Songs of strength and support
1. All American Rejects: Move along!
2. CHER: Strong Enough
3. Elton John: I'm still standing!
4. Animal Liberation Orchestra: BBQ
5. Green Day:Good Riddance:Time of your life.
6. Jim Croce: I've got a name.
Of course:
7. Gloria Gaynor: I will survive.
Somewhat more angry ones:
8. All American Rejects: Gives you hell!
9. Alanis Morissette: You oughta know
Just plain old:
10. Jonathon Edwards: Sunshine
My additional COUNTRY GIRL SELECTION:
11.Jaron and the Long Road: I pray for you!
12. Jo Dee Messina: My Give a Damn's Busted!
13. Keith Urban: You'll think of me!
14. Lee ann Womack: I hope you Dance!
15. Miley Cyrus:The Climb.
I hope you can feel the strength and support.
Happy Divorce Day
Today is Pajama Day at my children's school.
While I, for one, will not spend one cent on buying pajamas for poor children. Pardon me, my charity donations are personal and go where I designate them.
This is a school project, at the outset of Spring when all stores have switched their wardrobe selection to cruise wear, if not summer camp must haves, parents, who are already paying gobs of tuition, are now asked to scour stores looking for warm winter pajamas to donate to the needy.
Do your children actually still wear pajamas? Mine most frequently wear sweat shirts and sweat pants, or other outerwear.
Honestly, I am not sure how Pajama Day got perverted in to a charity drive, I would like to take this opportunity to address a more serious issue in our home and school community: Diversity.
I mean really isn't that truly a concern parents have sending their child to an insular Jewish Day School, that it is lacking in diversity?
No, I am not suggesting mandatory viewing of the Australian aboriginally dressed Russian Olympic Ice Skating Competition (I'll just bet that is where you thought this was going).
I am advocating Divorce Day!
I think there is not enough divorce awareness out there in the school.
Do we have a Divorcee Melava Malka? No.
What about a Divorce color war? Believe me these teams practically self divide, really I think it is a no brainer.
Our children are missing diversity awareness.
These privileged children are not exposed to the divorce enough.
They understand that some parents can not and are not buying pajamas for the needy, they are also not buying $16 "Sugarlips" stretchy sleeveless undershirts for their third grader.
How about awareness that there are actually mom's out there doing it all--from having the gutter replaced to sending in the financial aid forms (and who are not going to double the deposit because there are 2 sets of information to be processed for one child of divorced parents).
Perhaps the PTA could make the divorced mom's breakfast--forget the pancakes--we'll take extra strong coffee, and lactose free milk (the fact that our digestion is shot should come as no great surprise to anyone here) and chocolate straight up.
Those divorced dads sit in a large ball pit (equipped with baseballs, if you please) and we could model this activity after that famous Purim carnival booth, something like hit the clown with the wet sponge, only with the baseballs?
Another initiative I would like to recommend to the PTA is to reconfigure the development mailing list. It is simple and the figures remain the same. Just replace all divorced moms with the dad's mailing. It is highly likely they will not have read the first mailing anyway so better to send two. Really this is undoubtedly a more effective development strategy.
On Divorce Day, after hearing Hatikva and the Pledge of Allegiance the PA system should play the appropriate Chrisitne Lavin song "Happy Divorce Day": "though it's with sadness we arrived here, we leave with lighter hearts, knowing some of us are better off when we are apart".
The rest of the lyrics are linked here: http://www.christinelavin.com/index.php?page=songs&display=226&category=Shining_My_Flashlight_on_the_Moon
Lastly, I want to propose a "More than Mother's Day Celebration". It is the mother who sometimes calls every grandparent, neighbor, cousin, friend or tangential acquaintance to get a copy of the homework, bring the Oreos on October the 13th, borrow the last minute costume, pick up a child, or take a child to the doctor. That would be the same single mother whose ends rarely meet, those are the same split ends of her own hair that are yet to be ripped out of her head in frustration, cleans the toilets, makes the decisions, and doctor's appointments (and puts them on the Google calendar) routinely forgoes sleep, makes and enforces rules and is often treated to the thankless thoughtlessness, and the needless nasties in heaping helpings.
End of Rant.
While I, for one, will not spend one cent on buying pajamas for poor children. Pardon me, my charity donations are personal and go where I designate them.
This is a school project, at the outset of Spring when all stores have switched their wardrobe selection to cruise wear, if not summer camp must haves, parents, who are already paying gobs of tuition, are now asked to scour stores looking for warm winter pajamas to donate to the needy.
Do your children actually still wear pajamas? Mine most frequently wear sweat shirts and sweat pants, or other outerwear.
Honestly, I am not sure how Pajama Day got perverted in to a charity drive, I would like to take this opportunity to address a more serious issue in our home and school community: Diversity.
I mean really isn't that truly a concern parents have sending their child to an insular Jewish Day School, that it is lacking in diversity?
No, I am not suggesting mandatory viewing of the Australian aboriginally dressed Russian Olympic Ice Skating Competition (I'll just bet that is where you thought this was going).
I am advocating Divorce Day!
I think there is not enough divorce awareness out there in the school.
Do we have a Divorcee Melava Malka? No.
What about a Divorce color war? Believe me these teams practically self divide, really I think it is a no brainer.
Our children are missing diversity awareness.
These privileged children are not exposed to the divorce enough.
They understand that some parents can not and are not buying pajamas for the needy, they are also not buying $16 "Sugarlips" stretchy sleeveless undershirts for their third grader.
How about awareness that there are actually mom's out there doing it all--from having the gutter replaced to sending in the financial aid forms (and who are not going to double the deposit because there are 2 sets of information to be processed for one child of divorced parents).
Perhaps the PTA could make the divorced mom's breakfast--forget the pancakes--we'll take extra strong coffee, and lactose free milk (the fact that our digestion is shot should come as no great surprise to anyone here) and chocolate straight up.
Those divorced dads sit in a large ball pit (equipped with baseballs, if you please) and we could model this activity after that famous Purim carnival booth, something like hit the clown with the wet sponge, only with the baseballs?
Another initiative I would like to recommend to the PTA is to reconfigure the development mailing list. It is simple and the figures remain the same. Just replace all divorced moms with the dad's mailing. It is highly likely they will not have read the first mailing anyway so better to send two. Really this is undoubtedly a more effective development strategy.
On Divorce Day, after hearing Hatikva and the Pledge of Allegiance the PA system should play the appropriate Chrisitne Lavin song "Happy Divorce Day": "though it's with sadness we arrived here, we leave with lighter hearts, knowing some of us are better off when we are apart".
The rest of the lyrics are linked here: http://www.christinelavin.com/index.php?page=songs&display=226&category=Shining_My_Flashlight_on_the_Moon
Lastly, I want to propose a "More than Mother's Day Celebration". It is the mother who sometimes calls every grandparent, neighbor, cousin, friend or tangential acquaintance to get a copy of the homework, bring the Oreos on October the 13th, borrow the last minute costume, pick up a child, or take a child to the doctor. That would be the same single mother whose ends rarely meet, those are the same split ends of her own hair that are yet to be ripped out of her head in frustration, cleans the toilets, makes the decisions, and doctor's appointments (and puts them on the Google calendar) routinely forgoes sleep, makes and enforces rules and is often treated to the thankless thoughtlessness, and the needless nasties in heaping helpings.
End of Rant.
Forms
Why are there so many forms to be filled out? School registration forms plagued me this morning with their impending deadlines for next fall, yet. Then, of course, there are some extra curricular activity forms, and some bills (which if not paid online, are forms that require checks which most forms for that matter).
It must be because my children are in private school. Are there less forms to fill out for public school, because after all it is not like one would request financial aid and since they were registered for last year they know they are coming the next year, right?
I guess if you have a special needs child you still fill out a lot of forms in the public school system. And how is that at all fair?
I bet when I get to be a teacher in the public school system I am going to have to fill out a lot of forms.
My parents sent four daughters to school from kindergarten to 12th grade without submitting their tax returns in February. People in Israel do not submit their tax returns to send their children to school. I copied my tax forms this morning on my home computer scanner. I cannot say I enjoyed the experience. I will be doing this every year until 2019.
My far away phone friend said that she thought they should be able to be reproduced on line already since we keep having to write the family address over and over again, by hand. She is right and she pointed out that it wastes more paper--which we all know we are trying to get away from.
As an tree hugging kind of aside, we started recycling boxes in our new apartment and I think this is very good--even if it takes up space until it is removed. Let's be very clear, the actuality of efficiency remains unsubstantiated but since I have no legislative power to truly improve the system I am resigned to be being a compliant consumer. Therefore, perhaps it is really only good because it makes me feel good.
It does and it sure beat the forms.
Now we are here in our new digs for two weeks and two days. The new apartment is coming along nicely, if I do say so myself even if the Mother did remark that it seems I don't have time to hang a thing on the walls at the moment.
I just wish there were about 5 more hours in a day and that I didn't need to sleep.
Now back to the forms more of which need to be filled out.
It must be because my children are in private school. Are there less forms to fill out for public school, because after all it is not like one would request financial aid and since they were registered for last year they know they are coming the next year, right?
I guess if you have a special needs child you still fill out a lot of forms in the public school system. And how is that at all fair?
I bet when I get to be a teacher in the public school system I am going to have to fill out a lot of forms.
My parents sent four daughters to school from kindergarten to 12th grade without submitting their tax returns in February. People in Israel do not submit their tax returns to send their children to school. I copied my tax forms this morning on my home computer scanner. I cannot say I enjoyed the experience. I will be doing this every year until 2019.
My far away phone friend said that she thought they should be able to be reproduced on line already since we keep having to write the family address over and over again, by hand. She is right and she pointed out that it wastes more paper--which we all know we are trying to get away from.
As an tree hugging kind of aside, we started recycling boxes in our new apartment and I think this is very good--even if it takes up space until it is removed. Let's be very clear, the actuality of efficiency remains unsubstantiated but since I have no legislative power to truly improve the system I am resigned to be being a compliant consumer. Therefore, perhaps it is really only good because it makes me feel good.
It does and it sure beat the forms.
Now we are here in our new digs for two weeks and two days. The new apartment is coming along nicely, if I do say so myself even if the Mother did remark that it seems I don't have time to hang a thing on the walls at the moment.
I just wish there were about 5 more hours in a day and that I didn't need to sleep.
Now back to the forms more of which need to be filled out.
2010
It is the fourteenth of January and I am still running into people who are wishing me a Happy New Year.
I think it will be, and better than last year.
I am still removing ash from the fire we endured at Hanukkah. The faint smell still hits my nostrils each time I return to the apartment. The walls have been painted and the floor repaired. We mourn the loss of our favorite sofa chair silently. I am reordering most everything because we will be moving next month to a larger apartment in the same building.
I have already spied my new dishwasher in it's carton the basement. My mother asked me quizzically how I knew it was mine. "I just knew, whose else could it be?" I asked. Now we are all just waiting on the current tenants of 214 to move out. I can barely contain myself to think of the washer and dryer that will be installed in our own apartment. This is a surprise for the children. I hope it will be a cost saving measure.
Too exhausted to continue tonight.
I think it will be, and better than last year.
I am still removing ash from the fire we endured at Hanukkah. The faint smell still hits my nostrils each time I return to the apartment. The walls have been painted and the floor repaired. We mourn the loss of our favorite sofa chair silently. I am reordering most everything because we will be moving next month to a larger apartment in the same building.
I have already spied my new dishwasher in it's carton the basement. My mother asked me quizzically how I knew it was mine. "I just knew, whose else could it be?" I asked. Now we are all just waiting on the current tenants of 214 to move out. I can barely contain myself to think of the washer and dryer that will be installed in our own apartment. This is a surprise for the children. I hope it will be a cost saving measure.
Too exhausted to continue tonight.
Life
"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get." - Forrest Gump
I have been thinking a lot about this attitude lately. The simplicity of the statement and it's inherent truth appeal to me. I am not sure if it packs the punch of attitude adjustment Hebrew phrase "Gam zoo l'tovah" (this an idiom which translates: "this too is for the good"). It is, of course, said at times when any positive outcome is unrecognizable.
So today and for a while I am thinking about meaning and the unexpected.
Or maybe I am thinking in bumper stickers, don't want to take myself too seriously do I?
I have been thinking a lot about this attitude lately. The simplicity of the statement and it's inherent truth appeal to me. I am not sure if it packs the punch of attitude adjustment Hebrew phrase "Gam zoo l'tovah" (this an idiom which translates: "this too is for the good"). It is, of course, said at times when any positive outcome is unrecognizable.
So today and for a while I am thinking about meaning and the unexpected.
Or maybe I am thinking in bumper stickers, don't want to take myself too seriously do I?
What I am thankful for...
When I take a moment to meditate on thankfulness, I wonder how grateful I truly am. No, I cannot find that new age few minutes daily to sit quietly and put things in context. I am usually too busy stressing out over the small stuff (I could write my own book: How to Best Stress Over the Small Stuff - but really, who would buy that).
So, how grateful am I?
I question my gratitude for the reordered and disorganized priorities of my life.
I have led myself to believe that there are many things I cannot live without such as chocolate, The New York Times Sunday Styles Section, a sense of good taste, good food, coffee with lactaid milk, Mad Men, is this too vacuous a list?
Maybe I am forgetting to be thankful for the obvious.
I am so fortunate to live a life in which my needs are met. Of course, I am the one meeting my own needs. Interesting to think that was not true only a mere five years ago (ok, let's not go there).
I try to be mindful and grateful for that ability (but again, I have not made this a daily practice).
The basics? Food, shelter, safety, transportation and disposable finances to clothe and provide for my family - these I have and am grateful for that, so grateful for that. I had better start doing that grateful thing everyday.
And what of that which I cannot live without and which adds to the joy (and therefore the gratitude) in my life?
I am grateful for these things which I cannot live well, and joyfully without including both the obvious and the all to often overlooked:
My dear family without whom I would have a less full and less fulfilling life. My parents who compliment and supplement my parenting, and whose daily presence in my life guide, aid and at times infuriate me. My sisters, with whom I am in pretty constant contact through proximity, electricity and if all else fails, telephonically. Those women, and frequently their husbands have given me so much more than the bond of sisterhood. Here I feel the need to insert "Thank you, mom" to our mother who while not blessed with siblings endowed us with the knowledge that we would need to be passionate about our sisterhood. Passionate enough to move heaven and earth, if need be.
My four children--I have no greater joy in my life. I am infinitely grateful that I am their mother. I am grateful beyond belief for this blessing.
And friends, I am so so blessed with friendship. Thank you for connection. In life there are friends and there are facebook friends. You know, they check in and check out but usually are not a daily presence in my life. Usually they appear on your wall on your birthday. I am glad to see the pictures of their families but I do not feel true deep meaningful gratitude for this periphery of my acquaintance circle.
My endless gratitude is for my inner circle. The women who have shared with me their kitchen tables, their thoughts, cups and cups of coffee and some of whom opened their homes to me as havens from the storm. These women have become my sanctuary if not my sanity. Their friendships, the oldest of which (the Ankle Illustrator) began over my lady bug backpack in the second grade, have grounded me. These bonds run so deeply through me they are like the blood in my veins.
That which surrounds me completes me. I love the beauty in nature. The visual magnificence of fall foliage is a blessing!
I upped my appreciation this year as I collected and pressed and mailed the yellow, red, and orange leaves to my dear far away friend (the Meticulous Mother of Many). She lives in Israel, where I want to live. Despite the wonder and travail that comes with living there she pines (sorry I couldn't help myself) for the effects depleted chlorophyl in deciduous trees. I hope I can do this small kindness for her yearly until I arrive. But now back to nature, I love the blue of the sky, the clouds, the bareness of the trees, the grass, and the rain. I have good windows through which I can see the day before I leave my home.
I am grateful for music. The melody, the lyrics, the sounds fill my soul. I love music. My grandfather came every day and played our baby grand piano. Perhaps this early pervasion of music ignited the need to have music in my life. My taste runs eclectic: Jewish, bluegrass, indie, classic rock, some classical, and country. My dear friend (the Hampton Maid) earns her living through music. She has had tremendous influence on my taste, appreciation and understanding of music. Music is the brilliance in my life.
I need to read. I am so grateful for the written word. I learned to love the library from my eldest sister (Honey). I think that she might equate reading with breathing. She has been known to finish two books in a day. My pace is a little slower--I have had 10 less years to perfect this skills. Now I am reading a great deal of children's literature for my Masters class. She has thoughtfully contributed that this could be good for my soul.
TOUCH. I am so fortunate that my youngest (Angel Baby) still desires the morning snuggle. I cherish each and every one I have with her. I don't know what I will do when I lose this time with her. I love to touch, and be touched. I have a wonderful cousin who is a hugger (Queen of Hugs). It is so good to be in her presence because she cuts through everything and just hugs. I think that is one of the greatest losses in my life without marriage. I hope one day to be fortunate enough to find a good man who would love me, and fill my need for touch. For this I would be grateful.
This is a lot of gratitude for one post, and there is a side dish yet to be made. The sweet potatoes are calling from the kitchen so I will sign off with the question.
What are you thankful for , and how do you express it?
So, how grateful am I?
I question my gratitude for the reordered and disorganized priorities of my life.
I have led myself to believe that there are many things I cannot live without such as chocolate, The New York Times Sunday Styles Section, a sense of good taste, good food, coffee with lactaid milk, Mad Men, is this too vacuous a list?
Maybe I am forgetting to be thankful for the obvious.
I am so fortunate to live a life in which my needs are met. Of course, I am the one meeting my own needs. Interesting to think that was not true only a mere five years ago (ok, let's not go there).
I try to be mindful and grateful for that ability (but again, I have not made this a daily practice).
The basics? Food, shelter, safety, transportation and disposable finances to clothe and provide for my family - these I have and am grateful for that, so grateful for that. I had better start doing that grateful thing everyday.
And what of that which I cannot live without and which adds to the joy (and therefore the gratitude) in my life?
I am grateful for these things which I cannot live well, and joyfully without including both the obvious and the all to often overlooked:
My dear family without whom I would have a less full and less fulfilling life. My parents who compliment and supplement my parenting, and whose daily presence in my life guide, aid and at times infuriate me. My sisters, with whom I am in pretty constant contact through proximity, electricity and if all else fails, telephonically. Those women, and frequently their husbands have given me so much more than the bond of sisterhood. Here I feel the need to insert "Thank you, mom" to our mother who while not blessed with siblings endowed us with the knowledge that we would need to be passionate about our sisterhood. Passionate enough to move heaven and earth, if need be.
My four children--I have no greater joy in my life. I am infinitely grateful that I am their mother. I am grateful beyond belief for this blessing.
And friends, I am so so blessed with friendship. Thank you for connection. In life there are friends and there are facebook friends. You know, they check in and check out but usually are not a daily presence in my life. Usually they appear on your wall on your birthday. I am glad to see the pictures of their families but I do not feel true deep meaningful gratitude for this periphery of my acquaintance circle.
My endless gratitude is for my inner circle. The women who have shared with me their kitchen tables, their thoughts, cups and cups of coffee and some of whom opened their homes to me as havens from the storm. These women have become my sanctuary if not my sanity. Their friendships, the oldest of which (the Ankle Illustrator) began over my lady bug backpack in the second grade, have grounded me. These bonds run so deeply through me they are like the blood in my veins.
That which surrounds me completes me. I love the beauty in nature. The visual magnificence of fall foliage is a blessing!
I upped my appreciation this year as I collected and pressed and mailed the yellow, red, and orange leaves to my dear far away friend (the Meticulous Mother of Many). She lives in Israel, where I want to live. Despite the wonder and travail that comes with living there she pines (sorry I couldn't help myself) for the effects depleted chlorophyl in deciduous trees. I hope I can do this small kindness for her yearly until I arrive. But now back to nature, I love the blue of the sky, the clouds, the bareness of the trees, the grass, and the rain. I have good windows through which I can see the day before I leave my home.
I am grateful for music. The melody, the lyrics, the sounds fill my soul. I love music. My grandfather came every day and played our baby grand piano. Perhaps this early pervasion of music ignited the need to have music in my life. My taste runs eclectic: Jewish, bluegrass, indie, classic rock, some classical, and country. My dear friend (the Hampton Maid) earns her living through music. She has had tremendous influence on my taste, appreciation and understanding of music. Music is the brilliance in my life.
I need to read. I am so grateful for the written word. I learned to love the library from my eldest sister (Honey). I think that she might equate reading with breathing. She has been known to finish two books in a day. My pace is a little slower--I have had 10 less years to perfect this skills. Now I am reading a great deal of children's literature for my Masters class. She has thoughtfully contributed that this could be good for my soul.
TOUCH. I am so fortunate that my youngest (Angel Baby) still desires the morning snuggle. I cherish each and every one I have with her. I don't know what I will do when I lose this time with her. I love to touch, and be touched. I have a wonderful cousin who is a hugger (Queen of Hugs). It is so good to be in her presence because she cuts through everything and just hugs. I think that is one of the greatest losses in my life without marriage. I hope one day to be fortunate enough to find a good man who would love me, and fill my need for touch. For this I would be grateful.
This is a lot of gratitude for one post, and there is a side dish yet to be made. The sweet potatoes are calling from the kitchen so I will sign off with the question.
What are you thankful for , and how do you express it?
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